nervonna (nervonna) wrote,
nervonna
nervonna

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Dreams of a sunny kitchen

A cold cup of tea left on a counter, an open cookbook lying next to it - tea splattered across. Light shines and breaks on the marble top as the dust sparkles in the air. In the background music sounds from a CD carelessly left on. Yet all this is covered with a silence so thick you could cut it with a knife. Time stopped in this kitchen that morning 9 o'clock am flat. Now it is empty and left behind like an image in a book - surreal. The tea has gone cold and how I wish I would have had the time to finish it. It is the small things that still shine in this silence as I sit on the sofa watching the light move along the counter in my kitchen. The phone is lying on the small black desk to my left, its battery empty for it has been there ever since the call. What time is it now? I can not feel it moving. I sit and stare marvelling at pointless things to keep my mind moving.
Than it hits me again and I feel the pain piercing through the image...I was not the only one here before. That CD had been yours, playing every morning while we laughed at that counter drinking our tea. So you put it on that morning and had left early the cups still on the counter. I got up and sat pondering the day with your music echoing in the apartment till I got a call. Now I am alone and all that is left is to occupy my mind which is slowly crumbling and becoming like sand running through my fingers. Pain...what a strange proof for life. My cup is half empty and I left it behind.

I could now explain what news I recieved that morning, but what good would it do? I can not turn time back and I can not change what is. I can simply let myself drown in what is and try to bring that image of better days into my mind. A smile, a laugh and a careless comment meant to tease. We may find ourselves as images in a book that has stopped time. So I sit and watch that cup with its cold tea and think what would the title of the story be for when we meet again I want to give you a copy to remember me by. Just you and me in this apartment for these last few years that was my life and yours. I will cherish every fight, every dream and every laugh even if it is all falling into silence for now. One by one it will come back to shine, just now all I can do is watch the light play with the dust and tea and wish for that time to come soon.

I miss you.
See you soon.
Tags: emotion
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