nervonna (nervonna) wrote,
nervonna
nervonna

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Alive

The sun was shining so bright, it dazzled me. Looking up at it, I slipped. I had not meant to fall. The wind slicing past, the sun in my eye, down and down. It really does feel like slow motion, everything slows as you breathe in and hiss it out. Was that where I would end then? Was this where I would just vanish? The impact was hard and felt like it bruised every bone in my body. Next came the shock of cold with its own slicing pain. I thought it was still the wind hitting me but I swallowed water. Alive? That was all I could think. The bridge above me, river around me, ground not quite beneath me. It carried me on and I struggled. Let go or breathe? I wanted to breathe, had to breathe, could not think against the pain and strong arms of water pushing me down then hauling me up. Thank god for my subconcious reflex to paddle with all my might, up, just up. Breathe and look for land. Push, push, struggle, breathe. Rest.

All so cold but for the hot sun on my back keeping me awake. The water still played with my legs, tugging at my feet as if to say "Hey, this option is still open." Alive. So painful to breathe, but oh so good. What a relief. I had followed that sunshine when thinking of pain and struggle. Glanced at it to find some light and its blinding power had most certainly delivered a hard lesson. I crawled out of the water and curled up at the side in the gravel. Sounds slowly came back. A siren, shouting. People. There had to be people, when there were none up on that bridge. How did they always find her at the end? Still, for the first time. Welcome. Being picked up and hugged by a stranger. Alive.

Tomorrow would be other. Sun, air, water, earth, it changes you. Thank goddess for that.
Tags: alive, sunlight
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